Ask KMM: April 2016


 

As I was looking through the ASK KMM’s this month, I started noticing patterns and themes.  Rather than answering individual questions this time, I answered many. There is not one ‘Q.’ There is only my ‘A’.
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What you have become is the price you paid for the things you thought you wanted.

That’s the quote that I wrote on my wall in 2004 without being able to divine its application to the Fever Series.

Beneath it, in black sharpie, I scribbled a second one.

What happens to the soldiers when the war is over and they go home?

Carrying physical and psychological wounds, full of PTSD triggers—do they get a happily ever after? Or do they grow increasingly removed from any semblance of normal life? Do they want a normal life? Are they even capable of it?

The day I finished Shadowfever, I’d been writing the Fever series for seven years and as I typed the words THE END, I stopped, with only this complete

THE E

I sat there, staring at the page, asking myself what I wanted.  Besides a divorce since my marriage had fallen apart during the course of the series and—being a workaholic and driven artist—I’d shoved my pain aside and poured myself into the writing.  I might have failed at my marriage but I would not fail my fans and my vision for my work.

I wanted to force the series to end. I wanted to walk away. Start over in life and in writing.  But just like the first damned series had stalked me, the second one did as well. The Muse insisted I wasn’t done.  I had too many questions. I’d left everyone in the wrong place.  I’d written a happy grill scene after Barrons rescued Mac, which I knew would placate most people and conceal the many flaws inherent in the stopping point.

I, however, wasn’t placated.

I love the Harry Potter series. I kept that series firmly in my mind while choosing to move forward with the second story arc.  I asked myself, as a reader, what would I have wanted, if Rowling had decided to pick up right where she’d left off?

Those answers were very clear: I wanted to know what happened after their war was over and they all went home.  There’s always another war.  I wanted to see deeper emotion than I’d seen in the earlier books. I wanted to come to know them more intimately and see them evolve into the next thing. I wanted them to become family, not fragmented soldiers going their separate ways.

But at the end of Shadowfever, this was where I left my characters:

1.     Mac came to Dublin hunting the ultimate evil.  By the end of the series, she’d defeated one version of it and discovered she, herself, harbored the greatest evil within her own psyche, a pure psychopath with immense power.  At the end of Shadowfever, Barrons saved her.  Shoved into her head and helped her close the Book. But Barrons wasn’t always going to be there—nor would she want him to—and Mac was left feeling vulnerable, knowing she hadn’t saved herself, deeply suspicious about whether she even could. Bad place to leave a woman, unsure of her ability to save herself.  Never going to leave her there.

2.     Dani, my darling Dani was finally out of her cage, in the world, getting some of what she’s always dreamed of: friends, a safe place to hang, adventures, the possibility of love.  But her dark secret (one of them) was always going to come out in the first story arc. She’d killed Alina and now Mac knows it. (When will she face that other secret?) My commitment to verisimilitude demanded that Mac’s reaction be true to life; that she be torn between forgiveness and suffering an acute sense of betrayal every time she tried to love her sister’s killer—despite the enormously extenuating circumstances. You can forgive a lover for cheating, but the fallout tends to pop up in moments of intimacy and times of stress. Dani’s story was just beginning and was inextricably entangled with Mac’s.

3.     Cruce.  Wow.  I had a single villain in the beginning and I ended the series with two.  That’s fucked up.

4.     The Nine.  Until now, there’d never been a single threat to their existence. Now there was K’Vruck. They could die. (And after Iced, there were two threats, and the second one was far more enormous.) How would this change them? Would it make them need other people? Would it make them compromise how they’d been living for eons? Ryodan is always saying adaptability is survivability.  The Nine survived by evolving. I wanted to see the nuts and bolts of it. Evolution, transformation is what fascinates me.

5.     Speaking of the Nine—what is it like to live for millennia and never be able to mate?  They were human once.  Barrons had a woman that was his sun, moon and stars.  They aren’t like the Fae. They feel.  Yet at best they can have 70 years of caring for a human woman…sure seems to me it would feel like choosing to live with a case of terminal disease again and again, watching them suffer and fail and die bit by bit. These are strong, Alpha, passionate males but unlike my good friend J.R. Ward’s BDB, they never get to have a forever mate. Would they keep trying? Or would they stop loving entirely? And if they stopped loving, what would separate them in time from the icy, destructive Fae who prey on humans for a taste of passion?

6.     Ryodan: I was left knowing I’d seen only the tip of his iceberg.  I wanted to see the submerged part. This was the man who’d devoted his entire existence to keeping his family together.  The man who’d followed his brother to Dublin—as he’d followed him to thousands of other places while Barrons hunted the way to free his son—dragging their cantankerous, difficult band around after him, wherever Barrons went because Barrons was the one that just kept fucking leaving. Ryodan loves. Barrons does, too. All of the Nine do. I always knew this about them but because the first five books were so focused on Mac’s story, and I never dipped into the Nine’s point of view, there was no opportunity to explore it.

7.     Speaking of Barrons, for his entire existence from a year after he and the others were cursed—and it was meant as punishment—he devoted his life to freeing his son.  His own life was put on hold. He had no life. Just millennia of an obsessive quest to stop his son’s pain.  But just as Mac felt lost when the Lord Master was dead, deflated from the sheer lack of tension from hunger for vengeance and grief for Barrons that glued her together, Barrons, for the first time in his life, has to ask himself what he wants on a day to day basis. Define himself in ways he’d never considered before.  Plus, he has a woman is now long-lived for whom he feels enormous passion, and kindred. Each character in this series is complex, fully fleshed in my head. I lay awake at night pondering their issues, are they happy? Do they deserve to be? What is happiness to each of them?

8.     Christian MacKeltar becoming that very thing he was trained to protect the human race from.  I left him turning full, insane Unseelie prince.

9.     The abbey was a mess, with no suitable headmistress. The sidhe-seers were undeveloped, unled with no good leader anywhere in sight.

What a frigging mess.  Of course it couldn’t end there. There was no way I could walk away.

After a very long time, I sighed and typed

ND….FOR NOW.

My divorce was final four months after Shadowfever was released. The months leading up to the release had been awful, fraught with acrimony.  I moved, leased a place for a few months and gave myself the summer to decide where I was going to live and what to do next.

Despite how strongly my Muse was insisting I continue writing Mac and Barrons immediately, the first story arc was irretrievably associated with my ex and I needed a break from it.

While trying to refocus my life, I decided to simplify my writing focus and craft a Dani story, one that didn’t delve too deeply into anything; more of a mystery than anything else, with no love, romance or difficult emotion that I was in no mood to write about.  I absolutely loved writing Iced.  It was a free, fun place to be and I got to crack myself up with the Mega.

But while writing Iced, the second story arc continued stalking me, urging me to get back to it.  Too much unsaid, undone. And while writing Iced, I realized the advent of “Jada” was going to make Mac’s return mandatory.  My muse had been right all along but I’d insisted on muscling it in a different direction.

That doesn’t mean I’m sorry I wrote Iced. I’m not.  It’s in the top three of my own favorite books. I’ve been proud of each book I’ve written, aware that it’s been the best I could do at the given hour. I’ve tried my damndest to live up to what the Muse asks of me, even when I don’t understand it. That’s our sacred Compact.

I sat down to gently merge the two series back together but then something happened to me in my personal life that completely fucked me up.

There’s a reason I hired a sniper, learned to shoot guns in 2012 and got licensed to carry concealed.

There’s a reason I hired a Russian to train me in Systema.

There’s a reason I took a year off from writing between Iced and Burned.

That’s a story I’ll probably never tell. If I do, it will be as fiction.

Needless to say, it shattered me. Beyond shattered. It silenced me. I crawled until I could stand. I stood until I could walk. And when I could move in a forwardly direction again, I went home to Cincinnati, set up my desk in my new house and wrote the quote on the wall that I now understood, marveling at how the Muse and my life were in such flawless collusion that I got to precisely the place I needed to be.

I know intimately Mac’s vulnerability, her immobilization and passivity, I know intimately her sense of powerlessness, of raw terror, her loss of confidence facing a psychopath. I would no more leave her there than I would myself.

Life has beautiful symmetry, pattern and purpose.

What you have become is the price you paid for the things you thought you wanted.

Choose carefully those things you want.  Understand the cost.

What happens to the soldiers when the war is over and they go home?

If they’re very lucky, they go home to family and friends, people who understand they are no longer the same and never will be again. They go home to a place of healing and love.

I’ve been very lucky.

My characters will be, too.

84 Responses

  1. thank you so much for sharing such heartfelt and honest answers, as fans we become involved in the worlds of our favorite characters, we identify, we romanticize, we make heroes out of those characters who become most dear to us. we cry for them, cheer them on and mourn their loss...it is a window opening when we learn about the person who created this world and the characters who become a part of our lives, who draw us into an escape that sometimes becomes an addiction..i love the Fever series, it is one of my most favorite series of books, and i'm an avid reader. i cannot imagine an ending to the stories, but all stories end,,,and then being again in a new direction, characters grow or don't they create or end relationships, the world continues, there's always new battles,,,i'll keep looking for shadows, listening for whispers and laughing when i think of rainbow girl, when i hear barrons growl, the breeze as danni zooms by, when the highlanders chant i'll stop and listen and when the nine come out to play i'll be waiting....thank you so much for t his amazing series!
  2. Beautiful. Beautifully, deeply and powerfully written. You didn't owe us any explanation, but thank you for some of the insight into the why behind things. I can't imagine sharing the little of what you did couldn't have been easy. Love the two quotes. I'll be pondering them for some time. Powerful. I wish you your own happily ever after in life. Good luck, good thoughts, good vibes.
  3. Thanks for sharing with us (more than just your amazing stories). I hope you keep us entertained for a long long time and find happiness doing so! <3
  4. My mother gave me two pieces of advice that are most profound...I won't repeat the 1st one, I have posted it to your Facebook page. The 2nd one is so simple and complex. When I would say to her "would should I do?" she would say - "whatever is next" I live by that. I lost her in August 2012.... I always do what is next. Sounds like you do as well KMM.
  5. Fark! Your writing is so powerful, so raw, so true that it tears me apart. Karen, Thank you for never giving up.Thank you for sharing your stories with us. And thank you for letting us in. You are fabulous and I sincerly hope that your war is now over and that you get your happily ever after xxxx
  6. I'm moved and awed by your resilience and honesty. It's hard to fight. It's harder to heal and grow in the aftermath. Your work touched me. Stay safe.
  7. Thank you for sharing this. Your writing always speaks to me and inspires me, particularly when you explore trauma, adaptability, and the human ability to overcome. "Adaptability is survivability," indeed. I'm very sorry for the tragedies you've experienced, and I admire your strength as you overcome them. Wishing you healing and happiness as you continue your journey.
  8. After starting the Keltar books I thought, "This can't be it." Delving into Mac's life and seeing my beloved Druids still fighting brought me more joy than you can know. I came across "Into the Dreaming" and saw the same passion and mistakes in alk the characters you write, even there the story is connected. There is a song that hums through all of us, binding us, loosing us, connecting everything. I am proud of you and the raw notes you add to the Song. Thank you KMM for finding your path and allowing us to follow it. Much love and respect Miss Lady, truly you are The Song.
  9. Ju
    I loved Iced best. It felt just so real and free. I truly fell in love with dani. Also, I came to a place in my life where I didn't want to go out because I was scared and distrustful all the time. So I took up Krav Maga. It has given me peace; I hope systema has given you too.
  10. Thank you for everything you share with us!! You certainly don't have to, and we appreciate it immensely! It's funny you comment on where you left Shadowfever. I think I told my mom, "Rooftop party? Really?" It SO didn't fit, but the story had been so engrossing to that point - I trusted you left it where it was supposed to be left. I may be in the minority, but I don't expect a happy ending for all these characters because, well...not everyone gets that happy ending. I love your closing comment that, "They go home to a place of healing and love. I’ve been very lucky. My characters will be, too." It may not be the HEA that we typically expect, but I trust you in that it will be right for the characters & story. I have followed this story from the beginning, and honestly....there are few stories/series that engage me the way this one has. I know people have badmouthed Iced in particular, and I think sometimes people get so engrossed in something that it becomes "theirs." They can't stand to see it go any direction but the one they think it should go. I'm so happy you stuck to your muse and the "truth' of these characters. The construct of the story, the depth of the characters, the underlying consciousness of the story....makes for EPIC reading. And I leave you with one more question for your board...."What do KMM readers do when the series is done?????" hahaha! THANK you for sharing your gift and talent with us!!
  11. Thank you Karen for sharing a bit of your life story, your angst and vulnerability. Your are a gifted writer, a true artist, and an incredible storyteller. I am looking forward to spending time once again living with one of your stories.
  12. I posted the last piece you wrote for a friend that is starting to write. You just gave me an idea about how to pursue my book. I too have fights with the muse--and the universe for that matter. And I think posing questions will help me find my voice. So thanks. I am so glad you extended the series I needed it as much as your characters did. Cheers!
  13. Thank you, Karen, for sharing so deeply. I came to the Fever series late in the game, and devoured the first four books within, I think, a week and a half. I have loved every part of it, and it remains, as it continues, one of my favorites ever. I appreciate you sharing your story, and hope that, with time, comes peace.
  14. Karen, Thank you so much for that awesome Q&A. My heart hurts for you, but fecking A, you are one strong woman. Thank you for your strength and sharing your words with us.
  15. KJ
    Beautiful as ever...anything you write, even a blog post, comes across as profound poetry, a cascade of words that run the gamut from chaos to serenity. I hope your life is filling with joy now, you've earned it. Thank you for sharing yourself through your stories. There's a reason 'hope strengthens' touches our hearts so intensely, you are living embodiment of it.
  16. What happens to the soldiers when the war is over and they go home? If they are lucky they go home to family to heal their wounds both physical and spiritual. Of course they are forever changed. One has to change and evolve to survive a war, as Mac, Dani, Barron's, Ryodan, Christian and all the rest have and will, and as you have, Karen. Stay safe and know that you remain in our prayers.
  17. Pam
    WOW! Thank You for letting us in. I have a feeling your next series will honor your dad. Can't wait to go on that adventure with you and read a "real" book! 😉
  18. Thank you for sharing a bit of the "behind the keyboard" perspective Karen. You remind your readers that you are a real human being that needs air to breathe and that you also stumble through life's perpetual turmoil. I must say I am pretty damn jazz handsie right now because you featured a shot with ME in the post. Made my month for sure. One thing this post made me realize is that I connect to your writing so instinctively because of the grit your characters wade through. It's life and it is real. Not the actual story, but the feel of the place and time, people, emotions, experiences. Yet you manage to make it real to your readers. That's something I relate to because I've pulled myself through some seriously fucked up grit. Survived it really. Fluff has a time and place for me. I read comfy romance novels because I need a reminder that cuddly sweetness may still exist. But me? I've been in Mac's shoes, Dani's even. I have literally survived one trauma, assault, or failure over and over again. So fluff just doesn't cut it for me most days. I need me some solid mountains to climb and emotional grit that puts me through my paces as a reminder that life takes effort. Your Fever series does that for me. There are so many quotes from the series that arrow right to my soul and resonate there in a way no other artist has ever managed. I am so incredibly grateful that I am not alone in my grit box. I look over to my right and Mac is there. I want to slap the shit out of her half the time though. Then Barrons soothes me as he growls a reminder that life takes effort and Mac is still young. Then Dani is on my left just cracking me up so bad that I nearly pee my pants, while Ryoden feels the need to remind me what he'll do to me if I actually do pee. Thank you for doing your thing, through life's shit storm and all. Anj
  19. I'm really sorry what you've been through, you're a very strong woman. I've read all of your books and Iced is my favorite... That's being said I really hate your Muse, why can't she be Team Dani too? LOL
  20. I am not sure how everyone will respond to this comment, but here goes. I have bought every book you have written but I am having problems settling into the Fever series. I started to read the first book and couldn't finish and then I just kept buying the books because I thought it was me not wanting to let go of the Highlander series. I can't seem to connect with the characters in the Fever series but I will keep trying as I now own all the books and had better get with the program. I will re-read the Highlander series until I can get into the other one, you are an awesome writer and will give it another go. My heart goes out to you and I know you will come through this stronger than ever, thanks for sharing and if you keep writing I will keep buying.
  21. Jen
    KMM... What doesn't break us makes us stronger? Like the others here, I thank you for sharing your stories, your emotion, your alternate realities, and every other thing your Muse demands. I can't imagine what you've been through in your head, and I sincerely hope that you eventually find a good place. Remember all of the fans you have made - both of your writing and of you, as an author and a person. Stay strong. Keep writing. ❤️
  22. Thank you
  23. Kim
    I have immensely enjoyed your books, stories, Muse and you. I used to read them as fast as I could, including the Highlander series. However a little more than 2 years ago, my husband passed suddenly and unexpectedly. I found myself lost and in such a dark place I couldn't focus enough to read or do much at all. As time has marched on, I picked up the new series, Burned, and slowly I'm finding my way back. The characters, the way Barrons and Mac speak to each other, both verbally and with their gaze, is so reminiscent of how my husband and I were together. The sex scenes are wonderful and bring back great memories for me as well. So thank you for continuing to let your Muse run free for bringing me back from a very dark, lonely place. Staying to the light....
  24. Hi KMM, Will we ever see Mac on the Big Screen? Just finished ICED - LOVED it and Burned - also loved. Looking forward to you next books!
  25. Love your books and I'm glad you listened to your muse. I can't wait for the story to continue! I wish you joy, happiness and much love!
  26. Thank you for sharing your life and dreams with us, your readers and friends. Always follow your heart Blessings and safe journey to you...
  27. There are communities of people who love you and your writing, I hope that you know that we're out here holding our candles aloft against the darkness to take back the night with you!
  28. You didn't owe an explanation but I'm more touched by your words than you know. You moved me to tears with your honesty and now I'll read your books with a new perspective and respect for each character's struggle. It wasn't personal before but in a way, it is now. God bless you.
  29. Hello Karen, Thank you for writing this amazing series , I reread them as I am truly addicted .LOL I have fallen in love with the beautiful characters and keep rooting for Mac and Barrons and hoping we see a little one entering their lives . You have gift that is magical and entrancing . The best is yet a head for you , you deserve someone as special as you are . Cheers !! Linda Evangeline
  30. So much has already been said. You are an incredibly strong person to go through what you have and yet to continue where most would have given up. I have followed your writing forever and introduced my daughter to it as well. It is hard to imagine if you had just totally given up. While it may be hard to believe while you were going through all your troubles you were doing so much good for others in the world. When a man or women needed a place to lose themselves they could go to your books, when they needed strength and integrity they found it in your characters a reflection of you, a reason to meet the next day. As hard as it was you brought light into a lot of peoples lives and we are all grateful that light was shared with us and the world. You have created a worldwide community. Not everyone can do this but you and your muse did. And while the words are not enough THANK YOU.... Through your words you are a light bringer, never give up, never stop, do what your heart tells you. You make the world a better and magical place...
  31. Thanks for all you do. Don't worry about the rest of us. Take care of yourself first and foremost. Be the best person you can be and love yourself first. The rest will come later, and we'll all be here waiting and rooting for you.
  32. Karen, Thank you for all the books you've written -the Highlander series is just wonderful and got me hooked on anything you write -and the fever series is good -you don't owe your readers / us anything --you owe yourself. I hope you continue to work through the fever series to completion. Life somehow does not go on one steady course. I think it has something to do with the lessons we need to learn this lifetime to help us grow and be stronger-but it doesn't make it any easier when we're going through it. I think it has something to do with the lessons we need to learn in this lifetime to help us and our souls grow and be stronger. Life on this earth is not for the faint hearted. A friend of mine once said, using a Christ analogy I suppose, that we all have our crosses to bear in this world -different- emotional, mental, physical, or psychological -take your pick each of us are dealing with things throughout our lifetime. Thank you for all your writing I haven't finished Iced, yet, I stopped after the book before that- a little confused -like I missed some chapters or something. I had downloaded Iced a long time ago on my Kindle and will finish it and want to read what you've written after -so far in the Fever series. I won't give up-you don't either. I don't know you- but I'm sorry for your pain. Move forward and know that life and events are probably unfolding as they were meant to be. Take care of yourself and I hope to find you again in the rest of your series. Sincerely, Dianne
  33. Thank you for sharing...spot on truth
  34. Wow Karen, I'm sorry that you had to go through all of it. I made the decision to never be a passive victim again. It sounds like you made that decision too. Taking control of your life can be so hard, but feels great once you get there! Take care, be safe and know that there is an army of women rooting for you.
  35. Thank you so much for your amazing answers. Your honesty and strength come across in everything you write. Thank you for honouring your muse and staying true to your story. I love every bit of it and I honestly don't understand why others criticize anything you write. I love that you don't give in to anyone and you are an amazingly strong person. Just thank you for everything.
  36. Always love your books from the first series to the continuation of the storyline, you are a very brave woman to have dealt with your personal struggle yet continue to write and you owe no one any explanation in your coping mechanism. You write a story on struggle redemption getting up after falling down we all go through these same problems using fiction to escape by writing or reading is the first step to dealing with issues.I am glad to know you are doing better and will continue to read your fantastic worlds you create.
  37. Chirlyn, I love what your mother said and thank you for sharing. I'm going thru the most difficult thing of my life right now! My mom died in April 2010! I so wish she were here! But what quoted from your mom, truly helped me! Thank you! Karen, your courage is astounding! I love your stories, I read them over and over! Always waiting for the next one! Thank you for your stories, that are gifts to us and for the insights you share with us!
  38. You have always been, and will always be my favorite author. Alot of authors write fiction that let's me escape from reality for a while, and that's amazing but you and your fever series inspire me. On every page, there's a life lesson . In every paragraph , a line so thought-provoking , I retain it to memory to dig out later and apply it to my personal life . No other series has ever spoken to me like this one and even though I definately preferred some books over others, all of them are dear to my heart. I can't thank you enough for your amazing work and how much it truly means to me. I hope to see you in NOLA next year!
  39. Thank you. I have argued with people who didn't like the "direction" of the series because they wanted what they wanted and weren't open to your vision. I have screamed, cried, celebrated and just been plain moved by all of the books you have written. Mac and company are a great group I enjoy visiting once a year and I can hardly wait to see what you give us next. Keep writing this series while it moves you because we'll keep reading it and living in the world you've created!
  40. It's amazing that you can be open about yourself. It does feel like you are sitting next to me and talking. Good luck to you and I agree that you need to do whatever...just to be safe from others. Roommates can be murderers. Here's to surviving whatever wants to harm me!
  41. I would like you to know how much I appreciate and love your writing. Thank you for opening up to us
  42. You are so unbelievably talented! I have been following your books for many years now and still remember the years I would wait for the next installment of the fever series to come out. Whenever a new one did, I would reread the entire series before I read the new book. I understand mac like I have never understood another heroine before. Life has a way of serious f*****g things up. I'm so sorry that you had so much terribleness to go though in life! Know that you have so many devoted followers who EAT UP every word and appreciate anything you want to write! "Nobody looks good in their darkest hours. But it's those hours that make us what we are"
  43. I’m a martial arts instructor of adults. I found the first Fever novel in a quiet community center after class. I’ve never read these types of novels. But I am hooked on the very foundation of your stories. Since then, I have sold many articles on martial arts and am writing a book. I feel in some way you have encouraged me to do so. I therefore dare you to continue for real, for the rest of your life, as Mac. I dare you to write Mac’s world forever, so it can be read by other readers, for time eternal. Novel 15 coming up, well done!
  44. Karen, I'm sorry you had to go thru trials in your life so far, but maybe it had to be to get you to where you need to be. You wake up in the morning and can say, "this could be the best day ever". In life, we have to take the good with the bad, even tho we really don't want the bad, but there's always purpose. I believe your purpose was to write these wonderful stories for people like us to totally enjoy. I pray you have a wonderful life but just keep writing bc you ROCK!
  45. HI Karen: I love your books, your characters are complex and over come difficult situations. I am sorry to hear about your situations. You are only limited by what you think you can or can not do. Take care of yourself.
  46. Dear KMM- I know in the past few days you've probably received hundreds if not thousands of notes from loyal fans. Here's another! There's not much I can say that I'm sure you've not heard already- but.... I just wanted to say- whatever you've went through I wish you the very very best in healing. Life can be so crappy.. But I think you have this! I've been with your fever books since the beginning and oh my! What a world. They are my most cherished and favorite books ever. They mean so much- and teach so much. I've read them through my husbands deployments, deaths of family members and so much more. They've been a beautiful world to escape into-- and for that, thank you so very much. You are a special lady that has wonderful special words to share.... I always trust your stories, you always tell them exactly as they should. So thank you-- for your words and wisdom and worlds. Always a fan! Randi Troxell P.S. Please please let Shazam be real!!!
  47. Some feelings have no words other than 'Thank You'
  48. Thank you for sharing such a heart felt message. Divorce can be felt like getting run over. I know it is hard. I have Todd was in the Army. I did not see battle. However, was assaulted by an officer. Yes you can have a normal life. You just have to work at it. You talk it out with others, and realize this will pass, take it a day at a time. I take meditation classes helps center me. Mindfulness is good teaches us to live in the now. Because the past is gone, the future may never come, but the now is here and what we live in. Be strong and thank you
  49. I get it You speak directly to me I'm sorry for all your hurt and glad you're on a healing path. ALWAYS be good to yourself. You have something that we all don't comma lots and lots of fans who admire you. You are loved from afar. We see pieces of your soul on the paper you write on. ((Hugs))
  50. I'm one of those few that did NOT need you to pour your heart out. Did not require justification for a single word, sentence, story line nor book. You had my attention and unswerving support from the start. In my world you create the magic that makes life golden - that makes dreams come true - that shows me true strength - makes me belly-laugh - allows me to touch worlds far above my own realm. Because of you I can dance and dine with the gods. YOU owe me nothing. I owe you my unwavering gratitude. May you find the unbridled joy and peace you give ME!
  51. Karen, I thank you for writing this. Your insight is priceless. As fans we get a glimpse of the why for. As a writer myself it brings an "oh yeah, I get that." I've survived trauma, & I've always thought that your depiction of Mac's trauma was well written & true to life(for some, as none of us really experience trauma the same). Your strength shines through in every word you write. I loved Iced. It's one of my favorite books. I like the way you were able to write about a young character but not go in the YA direction. We all knew Dani would have to grow up one day. She couldn't stay a member of the lost boys forever. But at the same time, that's what I miss most about her. Her growing up is bittersweet. Her bombastic spirit! I feel that I got a glimpse of it again at the end of Feverborn. Dani showed through so much in the last chapter that I couldn't stop crying. When Ryodan says to her that he loved Dani, yeah I felt I knew that all along but him saying it, again I cried. Who couldn't read your books and love Dani & the fact is she never knew love the way most people do, so it's that much more important to love her. She is broken in a way, & she knows it. I just want to give her a hug. I've always said, a well written book will make you feel. What it makes you feel is up to you & the author. I have felt things while reading your books, always. From the start with the Highlander books. But when I read Feverborn, my emotions ran the gambit from insanely happy, crying(happy & sad & funny tears), manic, etc. I felt that that book touched my soul. At the end of Feverborn, I knew you were on a mission to end this series in a way that you needed it to end. I'm glad you put yourself in these books. I'm glad your write them. I'm even glad I have a place like this to tell you, "Karen, I love your writing. I'll follow you down the rabbit hole whenever you write a new series. Thank you, for writing. Thank you for letting us fans get a glimpse at who you are. And Karen, evolve girl! Adapt, and enjoy the ride." Cheers!
  52. Thank you for sharing and know you put a lot of work in to this series. I absolutely love them and can't wait for the next one. Stay strong and continue your passion
  53. Thank for you sharing this....you will remain one of my favorite authors ever.....and I will happily stand behind you and cheer you on....
  54. Thanks for your wonderful series and the characters in your books and sharing your story. Follow your heart and much happiness to you.
  55. Jen
    Wow! Very touching. This series will always be my favorite. I'm sure the ending will be amazing. Mac and Barron's will always be my favorite. Thank you for writing these amazing stories in the midst of your own Heartbreak,and personal hell. That takes a special kind of person. Thank you... Thank you....
  56. Thank you for expressing my own sentiments so gorgeously!
  57. Karen, As a woman who's experienced a type of war, survived and went on to thrive in life, I must tell you I read your words thru tears. Books were a coping mechanism for me. A sanctuary. I understand what you said about relating to Mac but I really understand how Dani went in and came out Jada. I honestly never saw that coming! In any career there are mostly average people satisfied with putting out average work product. I hope you know, and I suspect you do, that you've been called to a higher standard. I fell in love with the Keltars but with this series.....it's love and innocence (ignorance?) and hate. Good and evil are gray areas and that's where people really live at points in their lives. You keep writing and I'll keep reading. We are in a committed relationship now (that's a joke)! Whichever way your demanding Muse takes you, your readers are here. This soldier survived her war and learned that she still deserves to love and be loved! Isn't that what all of us really need to know? Toni
  58. Karen, I have so much to say to you, it's hard to know were to begin. First, let me say I am sorry for your pain of divorce. I too went through hell 6 years ago. I think that's what I'll say first (or second really). Your characters scare me. They are so strong and that is what frightens me. I starting reading your books with your first, can't remember the year. I was fascinated by your ability to write just such damn good stories. I loved each and every one of them. I loved how you used legends and myths. I do believe in magic! But the Fever series!?! Holy God was I sucked in. I too am a huge Harry Potter fan. I can not honestly tell you how many times I've read the whole series. I felt the exact same way do you, what happens now? It still frustrates me. I wanted to be Mac when I grew up. That is now where I'm at in my life. No, I don't want Mac's life, maybe the live and great sex part, but not the pain and the struggle. I'll be honest with you, when my sweet Dani turned Jada I was pissed. No damn it not her! She is how I wanted to celebrate life each and every day. I closed the book without finishing it, I was that upset. I stop reading years ago after my ex left me and my kids. I couldn't believe in magic anymore because it wasn't real. My day to day life was way to in your face fucking real. 4 kids, no job and being left with our newest baby girl only a month old, she had to have a trach at less then a month old and Down syndrome to boot. No magic, no real love, just heart ache and struggle. One day I was able to pick a book up again, recently, very recently. Something has happen to me, I am finally re-emerging. I am different. I am also so scared. Matilda, my youngest is in the steps of having her trach removed (keep fingers crossed). Sugery this upcoming Tuesday, sleep study next month if all go's well decanulation. Her life begins without breathing through a plastic tube. My life begins. I do want to be like Mac and now to find out like you too. I want to be strong. Every single one of your female characters are amazingly strong and brillant. This may sound silly but I am proud of them. All women should be like them, I believe we all are. Just some of us need to go through the pain and struggle first. Not kissing ass, I swear! I bought Feverborn but I can't read just yet. I turned to the McKeltars, all 3 books, God I love them! Then from there to Adam's story, and now finishing up Cin's. Then on to Hawk and Grimm's stories. Thank you. I am ready now to finish Burned and then Feverborn. I am looking forward to reading about these strong women. I guess why I was so upset about Dani is because I just want her not to have to fight, not to have to learn pain, betrayal and to suffer as many women before her. But I'm ready now in so many ways. I come from a very strong woman, my mom is amazing. Now its my time. I am scared, what if I can't walk!?! Well hell, I have to try don't I? Karen thank you, for your honest words. I never thought I would be one of those people to look up to fictional characters or withers or celebrities, I always thought how cheesy. But I've learned differently. I just hope I can learn to walk, hell I want to fly. Thank you for the many hours of pure joy you have brought into my life. I look forward to finishing Mac and Dani's story. Oh and by the way, welcome home, there is no place like Cincinnati.
  59. I always await your books with high expectations. Thank you for sharing your life and thoughts with us. Your books are some of the few that I like to read or listen to more than once. Your characters are well developed and have depth. Your thoughts are wise and thought provoking. I send you my best wishes for a peace and calm in your own life.
  60. I have followed you since the first highlander book, and I can say that your evolution as a writer has never disappointed. Thank you for sharing about your trauma and letting us into your life that much more. I wish you all the best wherever your journey may lead you next and look forward to visiting you, through your characters, along the way.
  61. You have an amazing talent to be able to express your life so poignantly. Your strength and determination to overcome is commendable. I would call you friend and kindred spirit and yet we have never met. Thank you for your transparency and saying so much while saying so little. I root for you, with rejoice in the accomplishments you share. I will remain a loyal fan of your work. Stay positive my friend.
  62. Thank you for not stopping at ShadowFever! I love all the characters in this Series!
  63. Thank you for that, Karen. It took my breath away and made my chest hurt. I am sorry for whatever pain you went through and amazed that you keep on going for us and your characters as well as yourself. Sending you tons of good thoughts.
  64. You must know by now that you are as strong as the Nine. Please keep in mind we all love you, not just your writing, that is awesome as well, but you are what is the PRIZE. Take care of yourself !
  65. WOW, just WOW. You are an absolutely amazing author and totally awesome person. To open yourself up to strangers like you have just done reflects your honesty and vulnerability, indeed, your humanity. Superlatives are superflous; you rock, woman. .
  66. So how has KMM rocked my world? She introduced me to the sexiest Scot in fiction Christian!!! The Fever stories have become my special adventure which I have been fortunate to share with my hubby. Yet, after reading KMM's letter to us, My God, aren't we special readers, to have our dearest writer care for us to share her intimate thoughts! Humble I feel and my words to you KMM are actually yours...."I see you, yee-yee." May God embrace you, remove any pain, and may the love from your family and friends keep you in the Light.🌸
  67. I'm still in process of reading the feaver series for the first time. Another young author, my niece, MD Waters pointed me to your books, and I'm very happy that she did. Thank you for personalizing your stories with your blog. I absolutely Love your writing, and I hope you don't have to endure any more pain to finish the series. I'm still contemplating putting a book out, if only a journal of short stories. (After all these years I have a lot of things rattling around in my head.) My hat is off to you, my dear favorite author (please don't tell Misty). Am so loving the idea of your fictional autobiography! Can't wait to read it.
  68. It's been so long since I've commented on anything. I still follow your work, just not as involved in the community as I used to be. As long as you stay true to what you love and believe in when it comes to writing, I'll always be a fan. Posts like this are memorable for me. It encourages me to keep trying when I'm wallowing in self pity and feeling useless. It puts things into perspective and makes me realize that maybe I do have the strength to find a solution to my problem, and that I can move on if I don't get what I hoped for. There is another path I can take, or another choice I can make. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings and experience (even just a bit is enough. We respect your privacy) with us.
  69. I now it took you a long time to get to where you were comfortable to move forward and share so many of your thoughts and feelings. These books for you, your characters, all of them, are a blessing to you. I'm happy for me to be able to enjoy your work. I'm happier for you that your work is both fulfilling and a life lesson to never leave poison bottled up inside you. To hold onto that is self destruction. To release it is to breath again. I'm very glad I know this part of you you chose to share. Thanks, Karen, and always....breath!!
  70. Is your starter for chapter 12 from Lorena Mckennitt? She is one of my favorite singer/songwriters and it seemed familiar to me.
  71. Thank you for sharing your heart,soul,and creativity! May God continue to bless you and keep you forever strong!
  72. as I read the series and get floored every time I keep remembering what you said at the beginning that no matter what happens there will be a happy ending. that is what I wish for you , a happy ending. thank you for the hours of joy you have given us.
  73. I love every book you've written. I am fascinated by the stories you tell and how intricately and wonderfully you weave them together. Your characters are my favorites and I think about them and wonder about them for weeks after each book. I'm still thinking about Papa Roach and what a marvelous and hilarious cad he is. I've read and re- read both series. Thank you for being you. Thank you for sharing yourself with all of your fans. Thank you for this fun and heartfelt insight into your writing and the series. You made my night much more fun with this post.
  74. Karen Moning
    Yes! She's one of my favorites too :)
  75. Karen Moning
    Writing Dani is pure joy to me...she has more adventures to come :)
  76. I know you finished the Highlander series c. 2006 and have integrated it into the Fever series. I was just wondering if you will write a story for Christian with a combination of elements from both series (i.e. UF and Romance)?
  77. AJ
    I'm incredibly excited to read feversong...I truthfully cried at the end of feverborn, and I too have had an amazing and distressing past year. Your open and heartfelt "answer" is liberating and encouraging. This series has taken me on a rollercoaster of thoughts, feelings, emotions and journeys (physical and emotional) and I thank you. I look forward to more of your writings. Maybe writing about Dani's time Silverside would be enlightening....time will tell if that story gets told, but I'm excited to see where you take us next.
  78. I am pretty sure I have read and probably at one point owned all of your books. The Fever Series is by far my favorite series. I love Mac and Dani's badassery. I love all of the strong women that stand up to the Alpha males. It is my favorite go to reads when I need a kick in the ass. You are an amazing person and thank you for giving us a female hero!
  79. Your comments were deeply moving. I am so sorry to hear of the pain you suffered with the end of your marriage but I’m truly impressed and inspired by the strength and determination that brought you out of it and however hard it was You did choose to prepare yourself and Stand Up again. Dealing with the “crazy” and surviving and prospering - more power to you! Before I retired I dealt with the “crazy" for a living so I think I know what you aren’t saying - no need to say more. Just know that you are an exceptional person. Mac’s story touches one with so many deep truths and the metaphors actually helped me to understand so much about myself. I can only offer my heartfelt thanks. You have changed my perception of the real world around me in ways you probably can’t imagine. As example, reading about the king gave me insight on the christian version of god. I’m sure its not just me. Your work is not just a romance or a fantasy; and, it’s not just fiction. If you chose to continue the stories of these characters to infinity I will follow too. Keep up the good work! In ways you may never see or understand, you change the world. I thank the "great Goodness" for you and your words.
  80. A couple of years ago, when my father was ill, before he passed away, I used to wear my shirt from your online store with words "fear kills, hope strengthens" constantly to remind me of the importance to not give in to the overwhelming sadness of the situation. Life continues to have its many challenging times, as it does for all of us - despite the impression that Facebook leaves of peoples perfect lives and existence. Lately, I have been escaping into the fever world with a complete re-read. Today I was reminded of some other inspiring words from a song by Leonard Cohen . . . "There is a crack, a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in". Thank you again Karen, for this wonderful world from your imagination and for sharing this and other posts with your readers. Bring of January.
  81. OMG Karen! Donald got a hold of the amulet after all. What now?
  82. I am new to this series but wanted to say that so far Iced is heads and above my favorite! I connected with Dani in a way I didn't see coming AT ALL so your muse was definitely bringing her A-game to the table. I do believe strongly that the trials these characters go through take us on our own journey through the "mirrors" of self reflection into personal demons and wars we have fought and came out the other side. Thank you; I truly look forward to more to come and am personally wishing for Dani's story to evolve into another series.
  83. Thank you. Please never stop writing.

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